ARCHIE, Mo. — Too overweight to work? An Archie, Mo., woman said her potential employer thought so and sent her home from work. Amber Smith admits at 5’0″ tall and 278 pounds, she’s heavy. But she said she’s a hard worker, as friendly as they come and she’s never let her weight get in the way. Unfortunately, she said a potential employer has. “I will work my butt off,” Smith said. “You tell me to do something, I will try my hardest to do anything.” Smith said she had no idea her number on the scale would mean a dead end when she applied for a job at Archie House Black Jack BBQ. “It doesn’t matter what size you are,” she said, “if you’re willing to do the job, you should be able to get a job like that.” Smith said Wednesday morning, a friend called and asked if she was still looking for work. “I just wanted a job,” she said, explaining that she’s been without a job since September. “That’s all I wanted.” “What is so wrong with heavyset people?” Smith asked outside the restaurant on Thursday afternoon. “I mean, yeah, some people think they may not be attractive enough to work at a place like that, but it’s a restaurant.”

First off, credit where credit is due: this lady knows how to wear 278 pounds on a 5 foot frame. Those are staggering numbers. You know when you see linemen who are like 6’4″ 300 lbs and you think holy shit that’s a monster? Well this lady is 16 inches shorter and a feather lighter. Almost incomprehensible that she kinda just looks like your run of the mill WalMart patron. Kinda impressive?

But, that doesn’t change the fact that I wouldn’t want her within sniffing distance of my food. Restaurants are an aesthetics business, when are fat people going to learn that? Bunch of fat chicks running around your place is bad for business. Makes customers nauseous. You don’t take time setting up a cozy ambiance, working on the feng shui, presenting a good looking dish and then ruin it by having Amber Smith’s fat fingers deliver it to your customer. Makes no sense. Da Vinci didn’t pull down his pants and take a huge shit on the Mona Lisa after he painted it, did he?